Lost and Found

Loss. We've all felt it. We've all experienced it. We've all lost something. We've all lost someone. We've all lost hope. Sometimes, we get to the point where we lose ourselves.
When we've lost something, we don't try to forget it. No, it hurts us and tears us up inside - piece by piece - but as humans we refuse to let it go. 

We try to find it all over again, to get it back, rather than forget it. We compare our current situation to the life we lived before we knew loss. Thinking that this constant comparison will help us hold on to that happiness without realizing the simple fact that comparison is the thief of joy. We hold on to those memories the way we wish we held on to the person, thing or feeling we lost. We spend hours rethinking our actions and  decisions, hating ourselves and wishing we'd done things differently because maybe then we'd still be happy. We blame ourselves for the loss. 

We punish ourselves. We drown ourselves in the memories we reminisce; being torn apart by the ghost of what we had, loved and lost. We forget that we as individuals have the power to change our thoughts; to control them. We are not our thoughts. Our thoughts do not define us -nor do they control us- even in times of hopelessness and mourning. In the end, nothing defines us other than the moments that made us feel free. 

Don't get me wrong, it's okay to miss someone. It's okay to want to go back and do things differently. Things that ended too quickly. Things that never really had proper endings at all. What isn't okay is the way we tear ourselves apart all over again, each and every day. Just because what you're going through is hurting you, doesn't mean you need to hurt yourself. Nobody deserves to be hurting. Nobody deserves to be broken. Nobody deserves to lose anybody. 

We live in a horrible world. There are some horrible people in this world. Horrible things happen in this world. Even in such a horrible place, every once in a while, we meet somebody amazing. Somebody who makes us feel amazing. Amazing things will happen to us. The world will seem amazing and trust me when I say you will love life. You'll be excited to wake up the next morning just so you can live yet another amazing day. Unfortunately, not everything amazing lasts forever and that excitement for the next day fades... Eventually you may find yourself laying in the dark, completely shattered and empty, hoping to fall asleep before you fall apart and the next day won't be any better because sleep doesn't help if it's your soul that's tired. All you'll feel is darkness, that is if you're lucky enough to feel anything. You eventually allow your life to become more like a chore than anything else; just something else we're forced to endure. 

We then say that we're broken and we use that as an excuse for pretty much anything. The world is broken. Everyone is broken. It's still no excuse to give up. Life becomes far more beautiful when you realize you'll never get the same moment twice. My question for you is, would you really like to spend so many precious, unique, potentially beautiful moments being "broken"? Do you want to waste your days missing what you've lost? Only to someday miss those days you wasted because you're running out of time and you didn't allow yourself to be happy when you had the chance? 

Everybody hurts. Everybody feels hopeless at least once in their life. Everybody misses somebody.  Everybody has something they regret. Everybody wishes they could change their situation. Everybody has a void that no matter how hard they try, they can't seem to fill it. Sometimes it feels like it will never be filled. I can't tell you to stop missing people. I can't tell you to stop missing the way your life used to be. In fact, I know I'm probably just as guilty of this as you are. I could tell you that bad things happen for a reason, but no amount of  wise words are going to stop the bleeding. I could tell you to smile because then you'll be happy. A friend of mine told me I should smile because it's good for me and it would make me happy... It's easier said than done when the reason you once smiled isn't exactly good for you and you can't be happy without it. 

I can't bring what you're missing back to you. I can't take your pain away. However, I am going to remind you that life can be beautiful if you choose to make it beautiful. If you choose to see the beauty in life, life will show you a whole lot more where that came from. These things we go through aren't always all that bad. There is beauty in everything, if you look hard enough for it. There is a little bit of hope in every seemingly hopeless situation you may find yourself in. 

Since I started this blog, I've been told I'm good with words and that what I have to say is wise and profound. People have been asking me how I come up with my posts and what makes me think of these things. Honestly, I just have a lot of pain and unexplained feelings bottled up. I - just like everyone else - went through things. Things I couldn't understand. Things that made me question my life. I've also lost people. I lost things that made me happy. Yet, among all that loss, I found myself. I discovered my love for writing and sharing my thoughts. I now realize that the pain I've been feeling and everything I've ever been through - though I could not understand it at the time - happened for a reason. 

There really is beauty within the madness. In the words of The Script, "pass me on the pain that you made into art". Everybody hurts. Everybody has lost something important to them. The question is, what will you choose to do with that pain? Are you going to give up or are you going to turn it into something beautiful? The choice, dear readers, is yours...